You are already on the right track to healing just by acknowledging that you want and need to change things for Hello Kitty mashup Oregon Ducks Hello Ducks shirt. Finding a trauma therapist may really help you, because you suffered a great trauma that has never been processed. Many hugs and prayers for you, you are already so strong for seeing what needs to change in you.
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If you choose to do so, it will be wonderful. The road to healing is so hard but so so rewarding. You are on the Hello Kitty mashup Oregon Ducks Hello Ducks shirt. The most important thing is, as you said, ” being OK with the things I don’t think about”. I have spent many years distracting myself from pain and when I finally faced it and started the process of recovery, my life improved little by little. I am now OK with the trauma and the best thing that happened is my relationships with people. It all just slowly changed to where it brings me happiness to be with people I love. Peace your way.